The Standard Gold

The Biological Advantage of Being Awestruck.

Insightful and astounding.


A new term used to describe someone suffering from an acute case of mindless babbling, combined with a massive dose of undeserved self-importance. (See; Kim Kardashian.)

In an interview in the UK’s Guardian, Kim Kardashian likens herself to a cancer survivor for what she endured filming her lavish wedding, for which she was paid millions. 

Kim: “We had done filming our season at that point, so we decided to film for the wedding. And that was a decision that he and I made together. But I think that, with any decisions in life [brace yourselves], like, I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She’s 18. And I was like, that’s how I feel.”

Will someone please marry this woman and take her to a remote private island where she can live out the rest of her natural life far from the media. (I acknowledge that this post is four paragraphs more than she deserves.)

Remembering The Silence

On 9/11 I recall turning on CNN and seeing footage of a jet crashing into the Twin Towers. Like many, I wondered if it was real or just a commercial for a new action movie. Sadly, it was all too real. People everywhere suddenly looked up from their headfirst dive into the abyss of self-indulgence and collectively gasped. 

In the hours and days that followed common people acted with heroic selflessness and rushed to aid those who were suffering. The entire world reached out to America and in that moment borders and ideologies gave way to humanity and compassion. We were shaken, but feeling human to our core and firm in our realization that we are all more alike than we are different. In the silence that followed the tragedy we were able to recognize the noise of everyday life for what is it is, an unceasing attempt to elevate the trivial to a level of undue significance. We blocked it out. We listened with our hearts. 

Today, I feel this kind of unity and clarity of purpose has dissipated, drowned out once again by the ferocity of those who seem wholly committed to our divisiveness. Perhaps on this 9/11 we can take a moment of silence to not only remember those who have fallen, but to recall the moment when all the noise stopped and we heard the truth within ourselves. -BG

Demo for my show; CLean Clever Comedy & Magic

My Cover Art for the 43rd Academy Of Magical Arts Awards Show, 2010

My Cover Art for the 43rd Academy Of Magical Arts Awards Show, 2010


At long last this blog has a name, “The Standard Gold,” and my promise to post more frequently. If you’ve chosen to follow me, thank you. I only wish I could be specific about where we’re going, but I hope you enjoy the trip.

From now on, when traveling by air, I will never worry what gate my connecting flight is at, I’ll simply walk to the gate furthest from the one which I arrived and I’m sure it will be right, as it has been so many times before.
Today’s crisis is tomorrows punchline.
Bruce Gold